In other news this week, the Labour Party continued its efforts to ensure that the Conservatives win the next three General Elections. A Party spokesman was quoted as saying:
“whatever you do, for fuck’s sake don’t vote for us”
As the number of jobs evaporating into thin air continued its inexorable rise, the Prime Minister and his closest advisors were caught taking tips on political strategy from the film ‘Mean Girls’, the Westminster press corps was otherwise occupied in trying to locate one single solitary spine amongst its members and the sound of fiddles being played drowned out all attempts at meaningful debate in the House of Commons.
A nation looked on in disbelief and incredulity, before managing to grab the remote control back and switch over from ten minutes hate to ‘Britain’s Got Talent’.